With my final semester at BYU-Idaho already half over, I thought it was time for an update. I think we often find that the life we have pictured and planned for is often different than the one we live each day. This semester has become an immensely difficult one for me. Just before the semester began in early January, I started experiencing some pain in the region of my lower back. I have lived with lower back pain for about fifteen years, so this is not new to me. My insurance doesn't cover chiropractic care, so I went to see a doctor on campus hoping for a physical therapy referral, which I received! I began physical therapy the first week of school and have continued working to heal since then. My physical therapist tells me the problem is in my left SI joint. It seemed that recovery was going quickly and smoothly at first, but over the last few weeks I have experienced set-back after set-back. When I asked my physical therapist what I was doing wrong, he simply replied that sometimes your body just rebels against you when you are trying to re-train it like I am. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that I can't find a single comfortable position - whether I am sitting, standing, or lying in bed - and pain medication seems to be effective less than half the time. During these times, I can't even walk. Sitting has been the most uncomfortable position, which has made sitting through classes very difficult. Luckily, I only have classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, and I teach AM Kindergarten on Tuesday and Thursday, but I am able to stay in motion which is actually helpful. Basically, this semester has been completely different than what I thought it would be. Obviously it has been a physical struggle, but it has also taken a toll emotionally. Last weekend I experienced another set-back and Monday night I didn't attend FHE because I couldn't walk. So I went to bed, hoping to rest, but no matter how I positioned myself, the sharp pain would not subside. I remember feeling so helpless as I lay there, and just crying and praying, not knowing what else I could do. As I lay there praying, the pain subsided somewhat and I decided to look up some talks on
www.lds.org. I typed "pain" in the search bar and found Kent F. Richard's talk "The Atonement Covers All Pain." It was so helpful to me in that moment and I remembered that my Savior suffered everything for me. I know that by turning to Him, we can experience peace through all trials and all pain, whatever form our pain takes. I have prayed and pondered to understand this trial. I know there is a purpose in all things. I know that the Lord can see all things and knows what I need and what I am going through. I encourage you to read Brother Richard's talk and to always keep in mind that throughout every trial, there is an end in sight and a lesson to be learned. The Lord blesses us as we endure and remain faithful.
"Opposition is part of Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father's love and of our need for the Savior's help. The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and... infinitely the pain we face.
"He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children."
"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."
Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, "Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?" I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality."
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