How Your Diet Can Bring You Closer to Christ

How does repentance and a contrite heart help you grow closer to Christ? I believe the way we treat our bodies is directly related to the concept of having a broken heart and a contrite spirit. While my story is long, it is powerful. It is the story of how I have been directly affected by this concept, and I believe it has the power to change your life.

The Backstory

First, I would like to tell a story about a woman I knew and loved. This woman married very young and soon had three children. While she loved her children dearly, she struggled to find happiness in her marriage. After this young couple married, the woman moved several states away from her parents, brothers, and sisters. She battled depression and turned to different coping mechanisms in an attempt to bury negative emotions and feel good instead. One of those coping mechanisms was food - unhealthy snacks, large portions, sweets, highly concentrated and processed foods. Food became a reward, something that would make her feel better, albeit only temporarily. Food was also something to consume out of boredom. When other people or circumstances let her down, food never did. As her children grew up, they observed and accepted this addiction (yes, addiction) as normal, and they began to have the same relationship with food and their bodies as their mother. It was what they knew. Fast forward several years. Now in her late 40's, the woman suffered a massive stroke during a very routine surgical procedure, leaving her permanently disabled. No longer able to care for herself, and requiring more extensive care than her family could realistically provide, she spent the rest of her short life in a long-term care facility. Due to complications from the stroke, the woman died less than five and a half years later. This woman was my mom.

She died just over two years ago. Her death, which was a direct result of the way she treated her body, hit me hard. However, it was what gave me the push I needed to do something different with how I was treating my own body - this beautiful and sacred temple my Heavenly Father gave me. What I didn't realize when I began this journey two years ago, was how much my spirit was affected by what I was doing to my body. For that, I needed a broken heart and contrite spirit.

A Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit

Contrite is one of those words that I have heard many times, especially in the scriptures, but I didn't think I could properly explain it to someone else. So, I looked up the definition:

Contrite - adj: feeling or expressing remorse or penitence; affected by guilt. (synonyms: remorseful, repentant, regretful, sorry, apologetic)

The scriptures also teach us about a broken heart and a contrite spirit:

"Your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, for I will accept none of [them]...

"And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart..., him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost" (3 Nephi 9:19-20). 

But what are a broken heart and a contrite spirit? And why are they considered a sacrifice?

When I don't understand a word or phrase, I also like to look into what our church leaders have said. Elder Bruce D. Porter spoke about this very topic during the 2007 October General Conference:

"As in all things, the Savior's life offers us the perfect example: ... "For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me" (John 6:38). ...And when the time came to pay the ultimate sacrifice entailed in the Atonement, Christ shrank not to partake of the bitter cup but submitted completely to His Father's will. 

"The Savior's perfect submission to the Eternal Father is the very essence of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Christ's example teaches us that a broken heart is an eternal attribute of godliness. When our hearts are broken, we are completely open to the Spirit of God and recognize our dependence on Him for all that we have and all that we are" (emphasis added).

Elder Porter also helps us to understand the sacrifice required of a broken heart and a contrite spirit:

"The sacrifice so entailed is a sacrifice of pride in all its forms. Like malleable clay in the hands of a skilled potter, the brokenhearted can be molded and shaped in the hands of the Master. 

"A broken heart and a contrite spirit are also preconditions to repentance. 

"... When we sin and desire forgiveness, a broken heart and a contrite spirit mean to experience "godly sorrow [that] worketh repentance" (2 Corinthians 7:10). This comes when our desire to be cleansed from sin is so consuming that our hearts ache with sorrow and we yearn to feel at peace with our Father in Heaven. Those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit are willing to do anything and everything that God asks of them, without resistance or resentment. We cease doing things our way and learn to do them God's way instead. In such a condition of submissiveness, the Atonement can take effect and true repentance can occur" (emphasis added).

To summarize, Elder Porter says that a broken heart and a contrite spirit mean:

1. Submitting to the will of the Father

2. Sacrificing our pride

3. Experiencing godly sorrow


Godly Sorrow

Godly sorrow is another term we hear often but may not understand completely. I recently heard an excellent description of godly sorrow from Jody Moore, who is also a member of the church. She puts out a weekly podcast - "Better Than Happy" - and works as a life coach. Months after learning from Jody on her podcast, I hired her as my life coach, and she has been instrumental in helping me progress on my journey to a lasting change. On her podcast, she has an entire episode dedicated to godly sorrow and explains it in a way I'd never heard before:

"The term 'godly sorrow' just sounded so big. How could I possibly be sorry in a godly way? I'm so far from being like God, and that just sounds so overwhelming and huge. And what does that even mean? ... The first clue...to understanding godly sorrow is to just break apart the words themselves. So 'God' - what do we know about God? God is love. ... God's love is the most unconditional, most unimaginable love, and it's always available to us no matter what. It's sort of like the sun. The sun is in the sky every day, and we can walk outside and experience the sunlight, or we can stay inside and stay out of the sun. But the sun is still always there. It's always available to everyone. And that's how God's love is - it's always there. We don't always choose to feel it, or live our lives in a way that we feel it as much. But it's always there and it never changes. And nothing that you do can increase God's love for you, or decrease it. It's just what it is. It's already set, and it's already off the charts. So if God is love, then 'godly sorrow' is sorrow with some kind of really big love involved" (emphasis added).

Jody then goes on to compare godly sorrow against worldly sorrow. She asks us to picture a man standing on a corner calling the world to repentance. He's holding a sign that reads: "Repent now, because you're a sinner!" This is actually very repelling; it doesn't make you want to repent. Going back to Jody's words, she explains what this message really implies:

"You should repent now, because you're bad, you're evil, you're weak, something has gone terribly wrong. It's a fear-based type of call to repentance... That type of worldly sorrow...implies that there are two teams and you are on the wrong one, and you better hurry up and switch teams. ...To me, the opposite, godly sorrow, looks less like that sign that says "repent now or else," and more like a sign that says... "come home. come on home." To me that's godly sorrow - it's just coming home. And it's doing it because you're good. Because you are loved. Because God is love and you are made in His image, then you are love. And all that's happened is that you've gotten a little bit lost. You've wandered from home" (emphasis added).

Isn't that a beautiful way to look at godly sorrow?


Daily Repentance

Now that we've unpacked those terms a bit, I want to go to a talk our Prophet gave during the Priesthood session of our most recent General Conference. If you haven't listened to or read his message yet, it will be worth your time to do so. I know that God can see the end from the beginning, and so He sends us warnings and direction through the words of our beloved prophets, in order to show His never-ending love for each of us and to protect us. In his talk, "We Can Do Better and Be Better," President Russell M. Nelson asks us to focus on creating a habit of daily repentance:

"Too many people consider repentance as punishment - something to be avoided except in the most serious circumstances. But this feeling of being penalized is engendered by Satan. He tries to block us from looking to Jesus Christ, who stands with open arms, hoping and willing to heal, forgive, cleanse, strengthen, purify, and sanctify us. 

"...when Jesus asks you and me to "repent," He is inviting us to change our mind, our knowledge, our spirit - even the way we breathe. He is asking us to change the way we love, think, serve, spend our time, treat our wives, teach our children, and even care for our bodies. 

"When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy - the joy of redemption in Him. When we choose to repent, we choose to become more like Jesus Christ! 

"...All of us can do better and be better than ever before" (emphasis added).

 I love that President Nelson reminds us that repentance is not a punishment and that it isn't just for serious sins. I had a hard time thinking about my dietary changes as repentance, but repentance is for everyone and for everything. Repentance is a change - a change of heart, a change of our habits, a change from what we did yesterday. All he is asking us to do is to be a little better today than we were yesterday. In the remainder of his talk, President Nelson talks about a few different ways in which we can change. He says:

"There are specific ways in which we can likely improve. One is in the way we treat our bodies. I stand in awe of the miracle of the human body. It is a magnificent creation, essential to our gradual ascent toward our ultimate divine potential. We cannot progress without it. In giving us the gift of a body, God has allowed us to take a vital step toward becoming more like Him. 

"Satan understands this. He chafes at the fact that his premortal apostasy permanently disqualifies him from this privilege, leaving him in a constant state of jealousy and resentment. Thus many, if not most, of the temptations he puts in our path cause us to abuse our bodies or the bodies of others. Because Satan is miserable without a body, he wants us to be miserable because of ours."

Your Body is a Temple

The way in which we treat our bodies includes what we wear, what we say, what we listen to and watch, what we read, what we consume and put into our bodies, any permanent thing we do to our bodies - the list can be endless and overwhelming. When I think specifically about what I should and should not put into my body, I think about the revelation known as the "Word of Wisdom" found in section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants:

"And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies. 

"And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill. 

"And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly. 

"And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man... 

"All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground - " (D&C 89: 7-10, 16)

After hearing a portion of this revelation, think about these words from our Prophet: "Your body is your personal temple, created to house your eternal spirit. Your care of that temple is important" (emphasis added).

Do you know the promise given to us if we should follow the Word of Wisdom?

"And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones; 

"And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures; 

"And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. 

"And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them" (D&C 89:18-21).

In following the Word of Wisdom, we are promised health, wisdom and knowledge, strength, and life. What wonderful blessings!


Dealing With Setbacks and the Shame Spiral

During my journey, I experienced great success and also great setbacks. I learned that, like my mom, I also struggled with a food addiction and even a sugar addiction. My husband used his education to help me learn about nutrition. My life coach, Jody Moore, has specific training in weight loss and eating disorders. While she does focus on eating and nutrition, her main focus is on your mind - on learning the skills to change your thoughts in order to change your feelings, actions, and the results in your life. This change goes right along with repentance. In an article titled, "The Meaning of Repentance," Elder Theodore M. Burton says, "...we must not only change our ways, we must change our very thoughts, which control our actions" (emphasis added).

I mentioned great setbacks. It was hard for me to accept that I had a food addiction. I had a lot of shame around that. I want to go into shame a little bit. The following comes from a talk Jody Moore gave at BYU's Women's Conference earlier this year:

"...shame is one of Satan's main tools that he uses against us today. It is the enemy of spiritual growth. Shame is the belief that something's wrong with me, and it's a belief that every healthy human on the planet has, and yet, we all know, logically, that it's not true at all. There is nothing wrong with us. We're all spirit children of our Heavenly Father. We're all amazing and 100% lovable and worthy of connection and goodness. 

"The scriptures tell us that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. And while we know this intellectually, there's still that human part of our brains that questions, "Yeah, but I think something might be wrong with me." And Satan knows that and uses it against us."

Because guilt and shame are so closely related, Jody also refers to well-known shame researcher Brené Brown to distinguish one from the other:

"[Brené Brown] talks about the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt, she says ... can be useful because guilt says, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake." But shame is always toxic. Shame says, "I'm sorry, I am a mistake." 

"And guilt propels us to get our life back on track, to repent, to start choosing the right again, whereas shame says, "You're no good." Shame, according to the research, contributes to all kinds of disorders, such as addictions, eating disorders, substance abuse, sexual sins; all the kinds of traps that people get stuck in, in this lifetime, are fueled by shame. And shame loves secrecy. Shame grows in hiding. It thrives off of secrecy."

I have years of practice going into the shame spiral. But instead of choosing shame, Jody taught me to focus instead on curiosity and awareness around food and my body. As I became more aware of what I put into my body, I realized that I was using food to avoid negative emotions, to celebrate, to experience pleasure, to combat boredom... the list goes on. This particular weakness can sometimes seem especially tough, because eating is necessary. Everyone needs to eat. And the way we eat as a society today - feasting on sugary treats and highly processed foods - is socially acceptable. Everyone does it. It's the "normal" way to eat. But eating like a "normal" person is how we've found ourselves in an obesity epidemic. That's not the normal I want. Throughout the last two years, I have come to know that I "can do better and be better." This body is not mine. It is a gift from Heavenly Father, and I am only its steward. He wants us to be good stewards in all He gives us, including how we treat our body.


How a Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit Changed My Journey

So what does my journey with a food addiction have to do with a broken heart and a contrite spirit? I wanted to change, but it was so difficult. I had to let go of shame, accept that I could not make this change on my own (sacrifice pride), and instead had to rely on my Savior to help me experience godly sorrow and grow closer to Him. As I turned to my Savior and submitted to the will of the Father, I also remembered who I am. I am the daughter of a king! President Boyd K. Packer once said:

"You are a child of God. He is the father of your spirit. Spiritually you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it. However many generations in your mortal ancestry, no matter what race or people you represent, the pedigree of your spirit can be written on a single line. You are a child of God!"

Elder Brian K. Taylor suggests that building a relationship with our Heavenly Father will help us to overcome any affliction. He said in a talk that an Apostle of the Lord was asked, "How can we help those struggling with [a personal challenge]?" His response was, "Teach them their identity and their purpose."

I have been blessed with the strength to keep making positive changes in the way I treat my body, even as I've experienced failures that have caused me to give up in the past. As Elder Taylor says: "Coming to know our Father changes everything, especially our hearts."

It's easy to see the physical changes in my body now compared to two years ago. Before, I would often skip a nutritious breakfast at home in exchange for a handful of candy at work. Now, I know better which foods fuel my body. Given the opportunity, I used to sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours a day. But sleeping half my day away isn't what Heavenly Father gave me time for, and instead, I've tried to make a habit of prioritizing the most important things each day. In the last two years, I've lost over 75 pounds and have gained so much more energy, confidence, and perspective. As I've come to understand exactly what Heavenly Father needs me to do with the time He's given me, my heart has changed. My spirit has changed as well, and grown much stronger. To be honest, my change of heart, my conversion to a better way of treating my spirit, has helped further my success with physical changes. Just as the way we treat our body will affect our spirit in positive and negative ways, so can the treatment of our spirits affect our physical bodies.

In any affliction or weakness, I know that by submitting to the Father's will, sacrificing pride, and experiencing godly sorrow, we will grow closer to Christ, Who has the power to help us change. He has done this for me and I testify that He will do it for you, too, if you open your heart and let Him in.

My Simple Weight Loss Journey

Yesterday I shared this photo documenting the first four months of my journey to a happier, healthier lifestyle, and many people expressed an interest in how I am accomplishing this. I love sharing my tips of how I made this positive life change for myself, and I hope that it can inspire someone else to do what they thought they couldn't! In the title of this post, I used the word "simple." I don't mean that this has been an easy road! It has been a huge challenge for my self-control, but the steps themselves are simple.

The first step is a desire to change. You'll find that this is crucial for any habit you are trying to break or change. If you aren't committed, you will likely fail and the effects will not last. This is exactly how I began. Sometime in June, I decided I needed to cut way back on my sugar in-take. I have diabetes on both sides of my family, and sugar has always been my biggest diet-related weakness; I would even call it an addiction for me. So I asked my wonderful fiancee, Morgan, if he would help support me in this goal. He was more than happy to help!

Soon after cutting back my sugar, I decided I wanted to eat better in general, and again asked Morgan to help. I do not like counting calories, so this was one way Morgan was a huge help. I began by making a list of foods I normally eat. Then, Morgan looked up the calories and serving sizes for me.

Another concern was my energy level. I used to sleep a lot more than I do now, but I seemed to always feel sleepy and sluggish throughout the day. Morgan helped me to pick foods that would give me energy, and identified foods that would make me more tired. He also helped me pick out proper proportions of protein, veggies, fats, and good and bad carbs, which I could incorporate into each meal and any snacks.

Here's what worked best for me. We began with a 2000-2200 calorie goal for the day - I have no idea how many calories I was eating normally at that time, but it was most likely too high. The goal with eating was to not eat until I felt full, but to hit that content feeling between hungry and too full. Mornings are tough for me; I'm not a morning person at all! So for breakfast, I mostly ate protein to energize me right at the beginning of the day.

At lunchtime, we wanted to avoid the mid-afternoon energy dip - that time when I would always take a nap if at all possible. To accomplish this, I ate a ratio of about 10% carbs, 50% protein, 40% fruits and veggies. A lot of times it ended up being a ton of vegetables, which helped fill me without adding a ton of extra calories.

Dinner is my big meal. One-third of my plate is protein, one-third is grains, and one-third is vegetables. At the beginning, about half of my daily calories came from dinner. A couple weeks in, we had planned to start adjusting my calories to 1800-2000 a day, because this is about the average for a person my age and height. However, I found that I was beginning to feel full during my meals at about 1600 calories, and I was no longer able to finish my meals.

Today, I eat about 1300-1600 calories a day. That sounds like I'm starving myself, but I am actually quite satisfied and eat plenty of food each day. I just eat a lot of food with fewer calories. Another thing I want to mention is that I am NOT incorporating very much exercise into my days at this time. If I were, I would add more calories. My current level of physical activity includes walks, as well as my normal physical therapy exercises and stretches for my neck and back.

A few other things - 

• When I feel like I need a snack throughout the day, I stick to protein and/or fruits and veggies.
• I don't want to waste my calories on drinks, so I only drink water - I've always liked water, so this wasn't hard for me. Another option is Powerade Zero - zero calories and zero sugar! Occasionally I'll drink a Powerade Zero.
• I cut my sugar WAY back - at the beginning I only ate a sugary treat at the end of the day if I had enough calories left-over (I usually made sure I had calories left! Haha). I wasn't ready to give up sugar yet. Once I was willing to give it up almost completely, I cut back more. Now, I only eat sugar-free desserts under 100 calories (I enjoy sugar-free chocolate pudding or Jell-o), and once a week I allow myself something sugary up to 200 calories.
• I have recorded what I ate since I began, and this has helped me to stay on track and to learn what I can eat without looking at the nutrition facts as much. Now, I can typically look at a meal or recipe and anticipate whether or not I should eat it.

• As you can see from the above food log, my diet is not so restrictive that I can't eat out. In fact, I still eat a lot of the foods I've always loved, including at restaurants I've always loved. I eat out about once a week; I'm just smarter about where I eat and what I eat when I go to restaurants. I've discovered that it's better to look up nutrition facts for restaurants before I go. This isn't always possible, but we usually know when and where we're going to be eating out, so I do try to look up menu items beforehand so I'm not tempted.

This is not a crash diet that I'm trying out in order to lose weight quickly; this is a lifestyle change. This is how I intend to eat for the rest of my life. Sometimes I mess up. That's okay! Nobody is perfect, and this kind of change can be harder for some people and easy for others. Sometimes those really hard days hit me out of the blue when I feel like I've been doing so great, and then I suddenly have all these old cravings. It's still a struggle sometimes! I just start each day fresh, and I am very motivated many days by the great changes I continue to see in myself - I lost 18 pounds in the first three months and gained so much energy!

Three things that I think have been most important for my continued success:

1. I had to make the choice to change
2. I have an awesome support system in my fiancee, Morgan :)
3. I had a desire to learn about nutrition to be able to eventually do most of this on my own

I'm definitely not a nutritional or health expert, but this is what has worked for me!

"The Atonement Covers All Pain"

With my final semester at BYU-Idaho already half over, I thought it was time for an update. I think we often find that the life we have pictured and planned for is often different than the one we live each day. This semester has become an immensely difficult one for me. Just before the semester began in early January, I started experiencing some pain in the region of my lower back. I have lived with lower back pain for about fifteen years, so this is not new to me. My insurance doesn't cover chiropractic care, so I went to see a doctor on campus hoping for a physical therapy referral, which I received! I began physical therapy the first week of school and have continued working to heal since then. My physical therapist tells me the problem is in my left SI joint. It seemed that recovery was going quickly and smoothly at first, but over the last few weeks I have experienced set-back after set-back. When I asked my physical therapist what I was doing wrong, he simply replied that sometimes your body just rebels against you when you are trying to re-train it like I am. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that I can't find a single comfortable position - whether I am sitting, standing, or lying in bed - and pain medication seems to be effective less than half the time. During these times, I can't even walk. Sitting has been the most uncomfortable position, which has made sitting through classes very difficult. Luckily, I only have classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, and I teach AM Kindergarten on Tuesday and Thursday, but I am able to stay in motion which is actually helpful. Basically, this semester has been completely different than what I thought it would be. Obviously it has been a physical struggle, but it has also taken a toll emotionally. Last weekend I experienced another set-back and Monday night I didn't attend FHE because I couldn't walk. So I went to bed, hoping to rest, but no matter how I positioned myself, the sharp pain would not subside. I remember feeling so helpless as I lay there, and just crying and praying, not knowing what else I could do. As I lay there praying, the pain subsided somewhat and I decided to look up some talks on www.lds.org. I typed "pain" in the search bar and found Kent F. Richard's talk "The Atonement Covers All Pain." It was so helpful to me in that moment and I remembered that my Savior suffered everything for me. I know that by turning to Him, we can experience peace through all trials and all pain, whatever form our pain takes. I have prayed and pondered to understand this trial. I know there is a purpose in all things. I know that the Lord can see all things and knows what I need and what I am going through. I encourage you to read Brother Richard's talk and to always keep in mind that throughout every trial, there is an end in sight and a lesson to be learned. The Lord blesses us as we endure and remain faithful.

"Opposition is part of Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father's love and of our need for the Savior's help. The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and... infinitely the pain we face.

"He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children."

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, "Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?" I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality."

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-atonement-covers-all-pain?lang=eng

The Secret is Nutmeg

Introducing my new cooking blog: The Secret is Nutmeg!!! Featuring a variety of recipes; some are my own creations, but many of them are recipes I grew up with. Keep checking back for new posts!

http://thesecretisnutmeg.blogspot.com/

Chicken Tikka Masala!!

Chicken Tikka Masala

3 chicken breasts
2 cans tomato sauce
1 quart heavy whipping cream
5 tsp cumin
2 ½ tsp paprika
½ - 1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp curry
½ tsp nutmeg
1 ½ tsp salt
1 tsp garlic, minced
Fresh chopped cilantro, for garnish
5 cups, uncooked basmati or jasmine rice

Cut chicken into bite size pieces, season with salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper, and cook using the method of your choice (I find baking the chicken while the sauce is simmering to be the easiest).

Mix tomato sauce, cream, and spices in a large saucepan. If desired, adjust seasonings to taste. Simmer on low for an hour to an hour and a half, until the sauce thickens. Add cooked chicken and simmer for another 10 minutes. Serve over prepared rice and garnish with cilantro. Naan is also typically served with this Indian dish (the recipe for naan is below).

　
Naan

1 package yeast
1 cup warm water
¼ cup white sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoons salt
4 ½ cups bread flour
¼ cup butter, melted

Proof the yeast in a large bowl with the cup of water (and however much sugar the back says that you need to use to proof it). Wait about ten minutes until it is nice and frothy. Add everything else except the butter and make into a dough. Knead it on a floured surface until it is smooth. Place it in a well oiled bowl, cover with a wet cloth, and let it rise somewhere warm. It is done when it has doubled in size--about an hour.

Punch it down, tear off small sections and roll into golf ball-sized balls. Place on a greased tray, cover with a towel and let rise again until doubled in size--about half an hour.

Preheat grill to a medium/medium-low temp (I use an oven rack, if you want the nice lines on it. You could also use a skillet). Oil lightly. Roll out/use your hands to smash and flatten a ball of dough into a thin circle. Cook for a couple minutes until puffy/lightly browned. Brush uncooked side with butter. Flip. Brush cooked side with butter. Cook another few minutes until nicely browned. Remove from grill. Repeat.

Miss Meganeee's Catering

Today's post includes pictures from Lydia's wedding of all the food I made. Enjoy!

The Bride!!

The Wedding Cake - the bottom layer and part of the top was styrofoam. Only a portion of the top was a real cake.

Banana Bread with chocolate chips. Lemon Bread was also served.

Mini Cheesecakes with optional garnish.

Stuffed Jalapenos

Wrapped Asparagus

Mini Kebabs

Turkey Wraps

Lydia found a ton of goblets at D.I. and provided them for her guests to use as part of her tea party/garden party theme.

Also found at D.I. were a collection of colored glass serving dishes and bowls. Instead of arranging the usual fruit platters, I decided to utilize this glassware to serve the fruit.

None of this would have been possible without my wonderful crew! A huge thank you to all of you for your patience and hard work!!

My Dear Friend

I was sitting on my bed this evening when it started to rain. But this wasn’t just any rain. It was a down pour - my favorite kind. Lightning split the sky, followed by the explosion of thunder. I smelled it first. I love the smell of rain. Do you know the smell I mean? That scent that tells you rain is coming. Next I heard it: a million tiny drops colliding with the pavement. I grabbed my book and hurried outside. I sat in the stairwell, shielding myself from the deluge only because of the fragile pages of my book. How I love the rain. It reminds me of home. Washington. Seattle. The mountains. How green and lush everything is. I didn’t get to my book. My thoughts wandered. And settled. They settled on you. So many things have changed. How I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss talking to you. I think about you often. I’m glad I know you. I’m glad we are friends. You are a wonderful child of God and I know He is proud of the person you’ve become. I hope I know you forever.

Pure Exhaustion

Two weekends ago I was able to make a short trip to Seattle for my best friend, Lydia's, wedding, which I catered! It was so much fun!! And stressful...it was the first wedding that I catered, so there was a lot to plan and prepare for. But I think we ended up being a little over prepared and everything went quite smoothly, which was nice. Posted at the end are all the recipes I used.

A wedding can be stressful enough, but added to the stress of the wedding plans was the fact that it was at the end of finals week! Wednesday night/Thursday morning I went to bed at 4:30am and had to wake up at 6:30am for a final...I did not do very well. And then I finished my last final on the 10-hour drive from Rexburg to Moses Lake, WA. We had to stop briefly at a hotel just before midnight so I could submit that last final. Then we arrived in Moses Lake shortly after and I passed out pretty quickly.

I spent the entire next day cooking and prepping the food for the reception at 6pm, along with my wonderful team of helpers - they were so great! Some of the items on the menu were requests of the groom, Tyrell, including stuffed jalapeños. He provided the recipe and even spent several hours in the kitchen helping prepare the jalapeños! The groom helping in the kitchen on his wedding day...how awesome is that?! I also made a fake cake, which I think was awful, but the bride was satisfied so all was well. We bought styrofoam layers to build it up and then just the top was real. I covered the styrofoam in cream cheese frosting and decorated it with pearls and pink roses.

The next morning we drove the three hours to the Seattle Temple for their Sealing. I was just Endowed two weeks ago, so I was very happy to be able to attend their Sealing! It was so wonderful!! Right after we met at a nearby park for a small open house. I served cupcakes for refreshments and we had a few activities including a costume/dress-up chest and tug-o-war!! We played boys against girls and the girls won the first two times and the boys the third time. After the open house, a small group met at the pier in Seattle to eat dinner at Ivar's. While everyone was waiting for a table and then ordering and waiting for food, two of my friends, Lydia's oldest sister, and I decorated their car!

It was such a fun weekend...I was able to spend that night with my dear friends Melina and Jenessa! And I got to see my cat!! Jenessa and I stayed up WAY too late talking nonsense and giggling. Then my friends (Bonnie, Cassandra, and Jessica) left to head back home at 5 am...in Bonnie's car without a/c! We had a spray bottle to keep us semi-cool. I was so exhausted from finals week and the whole weekend - I slept most of the 8-hour drive to Boise, where I stopped to stay with my friend Julean. We stopped in Pendleton for church - that's pretty much the only time I was awake, except we stayed to listen to one speaker and I don't remember what she said because I was so out of it. Then I slept for 12 hours at Julean's! And Julean drove me the rest of the way to Rexburg. We had lunch at Craigo's and then she headed back to Boise.

Now school is over for seven weeks (six weeks now...) and I am definitely enjoying some down time. It is boring at times, but for the most part I am loving the me time!


RECIPES:

Zucchini Bread -

2 eggs
½ C oil
1½ C sugar
2 C grated, peeled zucchini
1 tsp vanilla
3 C flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp baking powder
Chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease generously and flour 5 mini loaf pans. Beat eggs until light and foamy. Add oil, sugar, zucchini, and vanilla. Mix lightly but well. Add flour, salt, soda, cinnamon and baking powder sifted together. Mix well. Stir in chocolate chips. Spread into pans. Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes until toothpick comes out clean.


Lemon Bread -

2 cups flour
1 tsp. grated lemon peel
1 ½ tsp. baking powder
½ cup unsalted butter, room temp
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1 container lemon yogurt, room temp
2 lg. eggs, at room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Butter and flour 4 mini loaf pans.
To prepare bread: In a medium-sized bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a small bowl, stir together yogurt, vanilla, and lemon peel, until blended. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until blended. One at a time, add eggs, beating well after each addition. In three additions each, alternately beat in flour mixture and yogurt mixture, beating just until combined. Scrape batter into prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Remove pan to wire rack. Completely cool.


Mini Cheesecakes -

1 package Royal Cheesecake mix
1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup margarine or butter, melted

Combine crumbs, sugar and margarine; press equal portions onto bottoms of 24 lightly greased or paper-lined muffin cups. In large bowl, follow directions for making Royal Cheesecake. Spoon equal amounts of mixture (about 3 tablespoons) into prepared cups. Refrigerate until set. Garnish as desired.


Stuffed Jalapeños -

24 jalapeños
8 oz cream cheese
8 oz shredded parmesan cheese
1 lb spicy Italian sausage, cooked

Cut the jalapeños in half and gut them. Mix cheeses and sausage together to make stuffing. Stuff the jalapeños and bake at 450 degrees for 15 min or until the cheese melts and browns on top.


Asparagus Wraps -

1 bunch of asparagus, boiled
8 oz cream cheese
1 pk sliced ham

After the asparagus is cooked and cooled, spread cream cheese over the ham and then wrap around asparagus.


Mini Kebabs -

Sharp Cheddar Cheese, half-inch cubes
Black olives
Sliced turkey

Stab an olive, a slice of turkey, and a cube of cheddar onto a toothpick


Turkey Wraps -

1 pk large tortillas
8 oz cream cheese
1 pk sliced turkey

Spread the cream cheese over the tortillas and then the turkey. Roll and slice.


Fruit Platters - Pineapple, Grapes, Watermelon, Strawberries, Orange wedges

***E-mail me with any questions about these recipes - Enjoy!!

Yeah, I flipped out...

It's technically Monday, but I haven't gone to bed yet so I still consider it to be Sunday. Today has been quite the interesting Sunday. Because it is 4th of July weekend most of my ward is out of town, so we just had a small testimony meeting. After church I spent my time reading scriptures and writing to a missionary, and later I took a nap...the standard Sunday activities. Around midnight, my only roommate that stayed in town this weekend went to bed. I was tired and would have gone to bed as well, but I have been craving homemade chocolate chip cookies for awhile now, so I decided to stay up and make a quick batch (yes Lisa, I cheated AGAIN). I put "The Best Two Years" on while I baked and kept the door open to let in some cool air because it's been quite warm lately. It's about 2am as I finish baking the cookies, and I sit down in the near-darkness to finish my movie, which has about half an hour left. I am enjoying the cool air coming in through the open front door. The only light comes from the TV and the porch light right outside my front door. Throughout the evening several moths have found their way inside, but now the lights are off and all is still. So I am surprised when another one flies in...annoying. Wait, this one is bigger than the others. That's right, it wasn't a moth that flew in; it was a BAT!!! I'm sitting on the couch freaking out as it flies from the kitchen to the opposite corner in the living room and back again. Where I sit is halfway between the two corners of the front room and each time it makes a pass it flies a little lower. I hide as best I can under a throw pillow. I slide to the floor and make it to the hallway, which is cut off from the front room by a door. I wake my roommate up and we slowly open the door back to the front room...but the bat is gone! We hurry to close the front door. We eat cookies and laugh as we cautiously look around at the dark corners, half-expecting a bat to burst from the folds of the jackets hanging up. People...if you leave your doors open, something unexpected just might fly in. I found this out the hard way.

Update?

It has been brought to my attention that I have not updated my blog in quite some time. I'm sure you are all very curious as to the recent events in my life. The short version is that I have been attending school at BYU-Idaho to earn my Bachelor's Degree in Early Childhood Special Education. My roommates are wonderful! I am currently spending a lot of my free time helping my best friend with her wedding. For the long version, I will post updates and photos soon...hopefully starting tomorrow. Love you all!

Fun Times in the CITY

Ok yes, I am aware that a new post is needed already, so here we go...

I am back in Seattle and it has been so much fun! But it has also been a very strange experience. I went to my old ward and I knew maybe 25% of the people there. I have realized more and more how much things have changed here in Seattle. Not that change is a bad thing; look at me and all that has changed in the last year. It's just weird. I don't like change. My life would suggest otherwise.

Spending my days with my old roomies, the Markland's, has been so wonderful! I have missed these girlies so much. When I flew in last weekend, we spent Sunday listening to General Conference at the Stake Center. They were all wonderfully inspiring talks and I look forward to reading them again in next month's Ensign.

Tuesday morning I got to see my massage therapist for a 90 minute massage and it was absolutely AMAZING!!! I love her and I wish I could take her with me to Rexburg. Also on Tuesday, I went to dinner with my cousin Amy. She picked me up after work and we drove to West Seattle to eat at my very favorite Mexican restaurant, Puerto Vallarta! And then we had ice cream at Husky Deli I think...I got a scoop of blackberry cheesecake and it was oh so delicious! On Wednesday evening I took a bus downtown to meet Amy again. It was a very interesting bus ride...I have never been through the bus tunnels downtown. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't know they existed. Whenever people referred to tunnels and buses, I always assumed they were talking about the viaduct...anyway...I met Amy downtown and then we took an express bus to Federal Way to spend the evening with our Grandma! And then Amy drove me back to Seattle...she's awesome like that.

Thursday was mostly a lazy morning, but the afternoon was packed full of fun: I was able to see my chiropractor and I have definitely decided that I need to find an amazing chiropractor in Rexburg. It is worth the money people. I am going back Monday morning and I cannot wait! I haven't had a good adjustment since I left Seattle 7 months ago, so there was some serious popping going on in my body and it felt wonderful. After my adjustment I was able to see the girls I nannied, Jia and Hannah! Their mom, Alison, came and picked me up for dinner at China Harbor and then we went to the lower area of that building for their swimming lessons. It was so good to see them all! The night finished with a visit from another dear friend of mine (and the Markland's): Whitney Thompson! She is an amazing woman and I really wish I could see her more often.

Friday afternoon was quite delightful. Jenessa and I walked around the U-District to Goodwill in an attempt to find dresses for a photo shoot we were hoping to do. Then we were unsuccessful in finding somewhere to eat lunch...sad story there. So we went home, looked up a bus route downtown and decided to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. So delicious and so bad. Then we walked across the street to see the movie "Beastly" which is based off a book of the same name by Alex Flinn. I was worried because the movie has received a lot of bad reviews...however I really enjoyed it and wouldn't mind seeing it again. Friday ended on a cold note. Jenessa and I took the bus back home and then decided that we needed to take a dip in the Ship Canal. This is a fun pastime of ours...we did not have such a fun time this night. We knew it would be cold. I did not think it would steal the breath from my lungs, but that is exactly what happened. We were hoping we'd be able to swim for a bit, but that was not possible. We pretty much stripped, got in, dunked, got right back out and had to walk back up the hill dripping and freezing. We were applauded by the pot-smoking and alcohol-drinking persons who were also hanging out at the park. My first week back in Seattle has been quite fun and I am excited for next week: more fun times with my Markland's!

Baked Macaroni & Cheese

I have nothing interesting to post about right now, so how about a yummy recipe. This is a recipe for baked macaroni and cheese, which I got from one of my wonderful nanny families back in Seattle. I love it because it's really simple and so delicious! You don't even have to pre-cook the noodles!! It's the perfect comfort food...

Baked Macaroni & Cheese

yield: 4-6 servings

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp butter


• 1 cup cottage cheese


• 2 cups milk


• 1 tsp dry mustard


• pinch cayenne pepper


• pinch nutmeg


• 1/2 tsp salt


• 1/4 tsp pepper


• 1 lb grated cheddar cheese (or any other kind)


• 1/2 lb elbow pasta, uncooked

Procedure:

Heat oven to 375 F. Spread butter all over the insides of a 2-quart dish (do not melt butter in oven). Puree cottage cheese, milk and spices together. In large bowl combine cheese, milk mixture and uncooked pasta. Pour into prepared pan, cover tightly with foil and bake 30 minutes. Uncover pan and stir gently. Bake uncovered 30 more minutes or until the top is browned. Let cool at least 15 minutes before serving.

"If I should Have a Daughter..."

I saw this on a couple facebook pages and then I watched a bunch of her stuff on youtube. I have fallen in love with spoken word poetry! Check it out:

http://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter.html

Cozy in the Closet

Today's packing consisted of cleaning out my closet and sorting through my clothes. So now my closet is completely empty, other than the shelf on top. My niece Aubrie had been helping me sort through everything, so when we finished I wanted to do something special with her. We picked a movie (Curious George), and then made a very cozy bed inside the closet out of all my pillows and blankets! We squished inside and closed the door and then spent the next hour before bedtime watching a movie together. It was a very fun way to end a lazy day!

The time I totalled the van.

Ok so I already missed posting for a day, but honestly, who really wants to hear from me EVERY day?? I had to work last night and the night before, so yesterday was a very tired day. I only slept for three hours during the day, which is typical when I'm sleeping during the day. I hate it...I am so excited to be done with this work schedule! Sleeping; eating; my whole schedule is really messed up. Annoying.

About a week ago I was driving to town at night and hit my first deer. It was awful. I was driving Jeff and Lisa's van down the highway near home and it was pitch black, so I didn't see the deer until they were right in front of me. They ran right onto the road and there was nothing I could do to avoid them; there were three, but I only hit the one in front. The van immediately shut down and I had to coast to the side of the road. Just looking at the outside, the damage didn't look too extensive. The driver's side headlight was hanging out, the front end was dented a bit, as well as the driver's door. My brother, Jeff, came and picked me up and they called the insurance to have it towed to a shop in town. We heard the next day that the van was totalled!!! The impact pushed the radiator into the computer system, and there were other problems too. The good news is that Jeff and Lisa don't mind so much because now they don't have a van payment. The bad news is that I am now terrified to drive at night.

Back to school

Here is the answer to the big question of what I am doing next: I am going back to school...again! In January I submitted an application to BYU-Idaho and was accepted to start for the Spring semester. In the meantime, I have been working in Missouri at a nursing home: Parkdale Manor Care Center. They pay for a CNA class and all testing while you work there and I finished the class and state test about a month ago. I work overnights and it has been such a difficult schedule to get used to; I hate sleeping during the day, especially now when the days are getting longer and warmer. My last day of work is the 29th! The plan is to fly to Seattle April 2nd and spend about two weeks there with my Seattle buddies, including the gorgeous Markland sisters! I am way excited to be back in Seattle for awhile and start another new and exciting path. Classes start at BYU on April 19th. I will be majoring in Elementary Education and minoring in Special Education. I think that's most of the big updates for now. I am working tonight, so I'm going to take a few hours hopefully to sleep...we'll see how that works out.

Setting Goals!

Lately I have started reading a lot of different blogs and really enjoy them. I love seeing life from other people's perspectives. You can learn so much. Today my sister-in-law (Lisa-she will be mentioned a lot in my blog, so remember her) challenged me to write a blog post every night. But there are a lot of days when I do nothing of importance...what would I do then?? Lisa suggested on those nights to google blog prompts. So I will try that. Along with blogging on a regular basis, I am setting a goal to be more consistent with prayer and scripture study, and I thought that this blog would be a great way to discuss new insights I receive from the scriptures. I am currently reading the Book of Mormon in the book of Jacob. I keep setting a goal to read the entire Book of Mormon, but it hasn't happened yet. I will do it this time! In other news, I am much too sleepy to catch up on everything that's happened since my last post THREE MONTHS ago, so I will get to that on tomorrow's post. Be excited, because I've answered "the big question" lol...well mostly!

the big question...

Where to start...I feel like since I've left Washington, I haven't been able to find where I'm supposed to be. I was so sure Mississippi was going to work out, and so I didn't make plans beyond moving to the South. And then I lost my job so quickly and had to scramble to find not only a job, but a new place to live. I'm living and working in Missouri now, which was not at all part of the plan. Maybe that's a big reason I've felt really lost lately. I don't like surprise changes. Don't get me wrong, I can be very spontaneous when the occasion calls for it, but I didn't want this occasion to call for it. I wanted to spend my next six months to a year as a Southern girl. Now I don't know what I want to do or where I want to go. Life is already so overwhelming and then you throw this into the picture. I have had a lot of time to think about my life and I've realized that I don't have any short-term goals...Mississippi was my short-term goal. So I guess I need to come up with something new, but what?!? That is the big question...

Goodbye to Mississippi

Apparently I wasn't meant to be in the South. After I was there for a week and lost my job, I looked and looked for a new job. I did secure a nanny job, but I wasn't going to be needed until January, so I tried to find something between now and then. I filled out application after application, but wasn't having much luck. I considered other options as well, and was very tempted to just quit and move back to Washington. One of the options I had been thinking about was being a live-in nanny on the East Coast. I have wanted to do this for years, but it has never been the right time. So I went online and researched an agency that primarily places LDS girls in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and occasionally other states when their families move away from the East Coast. The more I thought about doing this, the more excited I got! I felt that this was the right time to pursue this path and I don't know that I will have another opportunity to do it later. There was no point in staying in Mississippi and continuing to look for a job there when I was planning to take a job on the East Coast as soon as I could get a placement. So I decided to leave Mississippi and drive back to Missouri to spend the holidays with my family. I drove all day on Thursday and I feel so much better and more relaxed now. While I enjoyed Mississippi and grew to love the South, the time I spent there was very stressful. I love it here in the Midwest! And I'm excited to be with my family! I've been talking with the agency I found online and they have a family that is looking for a new nanny to start after Christmas, which would be perfect timing. So hopefully I will be placed quickly and then I will get to start on another new adventure!

A Month of Change

Well I've finally made it to Mississippi! And boy was I in shock once I got here...it's very different from what I am used to in Seattle, but of course, I did expect that. The drive here was very long and mostly uneventful and boring. Chica (my cat) hated all of it, but I couldn't get her to take any drugs, so she just had to deal with it...by the last and longest day, I think she was finally used to riding in the car and barely yowled at all.

I left Seattle, WA on Thursday, September 2 and drove to Oregon. I stayed there two nights with my Dad and Joni, and then left for Spokane, WA to see the Willson's!!! I really loved Spokane...it's very open and beautiful! From Spokane I drove to Burley, ID and stayed with my Great-Aunt and Uncle on Sunday night. I had a pretty long drive the next day and was going through Wyoming (which I was not looking forward to at all - BORING!), so I left Idaho at 5am - yuk! I was so tired, but I loved that I was able to watch the sunrise!

I drove through the northeast corner of Utah before entering Wyoming. I had it all calculated - 400 miles and 5 hours to get through Wyoming. It was so long and boring...there is absolutely nothing in Wyoming. I am sorry to those of you who love and/or live in Wyoming, but I've decided that it's not for me. And then, about 20 miles from the Nebraska border, my car broke down! Did I mention that I hate Wyoming?? My intended destination for that night was another 2.5 hours away and I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I called my sister-in-law, Lisa and also Debbie Engle (who I was supposed to be staying with) to let her know I wasn't going to make it, and I cried a lot. I got out of my car and looked under the hood, not that I knew what I was looking for. I knelt on the side of the highway and prayed and cried some more. A state trooper pulled up and called a tow truck for me. While I was waiting for the tow truck, Lisa and her Dad made plans to come get me and tow my car out to Iowa/Missouri so he could fix whatever was wrong (we were pretty sure it was my alternator). The only problem was that they were a good eight hours away, but I had very little money left and had no way to get anywhere from where I broke down. And then Debbie called me back and told me that she and her husband, Dennis, were going to come get me instead - turns out Dennis is a mechanic!

I feel I should include the story of how I know Debbie and Dennis. Back in my ward in Seattle, a missionary by the name of Elder Deines was serving. I found out that he is from Nebraska and I also knew that I would be needing to stop somewhere in Nebraska on my road trip to Mississippi, so I asked him where would be a good place to stay. He gave me the name of a place, but then a few days later told me that I should just stay with his grandparents and that they loved the idea. So I got in touch with his grandma (Debbie) and made plans to stop in Grant. So I had never actually met them and they did not know me either...but they came to my rescue anyway! They brought an extra battery so that we could get my car back to their house. We had to stop twice to recharge the battery, but we made it! The next morning we were able to find an alternator for only $50 and I was back on the road by 4pm! I hadn't actually lost any time...I made it to Jeff and Lisa's house in Northwest Missouri late Tuesday night. The next day was my last and longest day of driving, but I finally made it to Mississippi late on Wednesday, September 8th.

I drove straight to the house of the family I would be a live-in nanny for in Foxworth, MS. They live out in the country, it's very dark at night and they're surrounded by forest...I was so afraid I was going to get lost because I couldn't see the street signs and I had no service on my phone. I felt very isolated when I first arrived. Needless to say, it's very different than what I am used to. I never thought I'd actually miss the city! But I am enjoying myself and still getting used to being in a completely new and different place.

The family that I nanny for has six kids between the ages of 2 and 11 and so it gets pretty crazy and loud around here - it's definitely a challenge. I was with them for about a week and a half when I found out that the father (who works on an oil rig) was going to be laid off...I found this out Sunday. So - less than two weeks in Mississippi and I am now unemployed and homeless. I have been getting so much help and support from my church though. I have found a place to stay temporarily and will be looking for a job this week. I actually have an interview on Thursday with a mom in Hattiesburg. She has a seven-year-old daughter and is going to have a baby in about four weeks. I am hoping this will go well...it is not a live-in, so I will have to find a place to live. I think I'm going to try to find some girls in the area who need an extra roommate - Hattiesburg is the home of USM, so there will be lots of people my age and more affordable housing.

So that is where I'm at now...my time here so far has definitely been a roller coaster ride, but I am trying to stay positive and have faith in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I know I'm here for a reason and I know that I will be supported through my trials and righteous endeavors. And no, I do not regret leaving Washington :)

"...for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." (Alma 36:3)